Limped off to the pharmacy during my lunch break today and collected my LDN. For some reason I assumed I'd be given it in tablet form, but it's a liquid! Easy peasy to administer and I'm pretty sick of swallowing pills.
Having worked in a refractive surgery clinic for a few years in the past, I'm used to filling up syringes so it's very easy (dexterity permitting).
And so it begins. Obviously I have nothing to report so far as I've only just taken my first dose around 30 minutes ago. Well, nothing to report except for the taste - it's vile! It can taste as awful as it likes if it works though!!
Who could've thought the contents of this glass bottle have the potential to change my life if it lives up to the anecdotal evidence so far? I'm not getting my hopes up or looking for miracles, but any improvement in my quality of life would be amazing. I've been grinning from ear to ear all afternoon and I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders - I was worrying about if I'd be found suitable for LDN, if it'd 'work' for me, if I'd suffer another relapse in the meantime and generally felt sick to the back teeth of having MS and everything that comes with it. Rose-tinted-bespectacled as it may sound, I feel so much better now; I feel in control for the first time. What'll be will be. MS rules my life day to day - it determines if I feel good or bad and if my body will co-operate or not on any particular day, even if I try not to let it, live positively and try not to let my MS get me down, it's inevitable from time to time. I now have a weapon, as it were, to fight my MS.
I've always found it particularly strange that I refer to MS in the possessive - 'my MS'. However, on an introspective day I realised it perhaps isn't quite so strange after all; MS is different for every person who has it, and it presents itself in a multitude of different ways, so how MS presents with me is unique to me, therefore it's 'my MS'. That's my logic for you! I suppose it also suggests a certain level of acceptance in that I've admitted it as mine. Perhaps I've been lucky in that as soon as I developed optic neuritis I knew it meant MS (due to the experience of working with ophthalmic surgeons) and accepted it without having to go through shock and distress first. I've no idea why I reacted like this, but I'm grateful nonetheless. This has afforded me time to formulate a plan of attack (not sure how to put that more succinctly).
Anyway, enough introspection for tonight! Apparently I have some very bizarre dreams to look forward to. Considering I already have weird dreams, I'll probably have a dream akin to an acid trip!
Ever the optimist, I sense good things to come...........I'll keep you posted!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment