From the moment I developed Optic Neuritis I knew I had MS, and if I'm honest with myself I suspected I had MS before that. As soon as Optic Neuritis was confirmed, I accepted my MS and embraced it. This may sound like an unusual reaction, but being angry and upset would in no way help. I may have embraced and accepted my MS, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to fight it every step of the way with all of my being - I am, but I find it affords me the ability to explore my options rationally in a precise manner. MS is a complicated and intricate disease, and the treatment options for it are vast. Comparing and contrasting these and also doing reasearch, takes a lot of time but is more than worth it; it provides you the strongest platform possible to fight the disease. Without knowledge, you cannot fight and manage MS, and acceptance goes a long way towards allowing you to approach the fight logically.
MS may be a pain the arse, but there are also many good points to having MS. I noticed a lot of grumblings in my blog, so felt it was about time I highlighted the good points of having MS and explained why in many ways I'm glad I have MS. Glad is probably a rather inappropriate word, but it's the best I can come up with! I'd rather be glad I have MS than think "why me?" because, truly, why not me? I don't have the right to complain, and I'd rather divert my energy to fighting my MS than to self pity. As the song says, always look on the bright side of life.
And now for the good points!!
I never before realised my true potential: before I was diagnosed and started my fight, I didn't realise I had it in me to write a blog, help in a very small way to campaign for LDN to be trialled on the NHS, stand up to my Drs and try a new treatment, and take my MS treatment into my own hands. I'd never have organised a social gathering of strangers (the Meet.ms event on 3rd December) either. I've always known my inellectual potential, but to discover what I can thole (old Scottich word) has pleasantly surprised me. People call me brave, and commend me for laughing at a lot of the bad points of my MS, but truly, there's no other way to deal with it in my opinion and I don't see myself as brave, only as carrying on as best I can and making the most of a less than favourable situation. I've learned how strong I can be as a person, and how much potential I have.
I now have a purpose in life: I've generally floated through life indulging my whims and feeding my brain without much particular purpose. I now realise it is to fight my MS, raise awareness and help others with MS in any way I can. Since my diagnosis, it's as though a fire has been lit below me: I've started a blog, joined Twitter and tweet about MS, LDN and general nonsense, have promoted the petitions for LDN to be trialled on NHS and am attempting to arrange the Meet.ms night out on the 3rd December. Never before have I felt so focussed, and it's rather nice.
I've met so many wonderful and lovely people since my diagnosis and foray into the world of Twitter, blogging and MS sites. From advice and medical advice to help, support, giggles, good chat and people to chat about symptoms with who understand, it's been wonderful and I thank all the lovely people - you know who you are! I'd never have met these people had I not been diagnosed with MS, so for that I'm grateful.
I laugh more now as a result of my MS - I can't do anything but laugh at the various medical issues I have and the situations I think can't get any worse, then often do. I may also have discovered I have some rare moments of wittiness!
I've also learned happiness is much easier than I thought - little things used to get me down, now I realise life is much more simple and my happiness is what I make it. I take nothing for granted now and am happier as a result.
Overall, I'm a happy bunny and glad I have MS for all the above reasons and many more. It may sound strange, but I think it's best to make the best of a bad situation and remember: things could be worse!
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